I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
