One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
My ass is underappreciated
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
