I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
