just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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