So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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