I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
It's rum buckets o'clock
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize