About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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