how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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