Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
