I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
