i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Randomize
