im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
