some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize