Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
