You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
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