I don't think brook has ever known best
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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