My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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