Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
