I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
