before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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