I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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