i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
