I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Randomize