okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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