At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
you made out with another girl for some wings
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
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