i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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