We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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