he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Randomize
