shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
