If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
