peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
We have started to decorate penises.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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