yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
