i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
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