whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
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