now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.