I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
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Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
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There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit