my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
