he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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