Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I need water and some morals
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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