Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I think I have vodka in my lungs
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
