I will die if light touches me.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
