whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
Randomize
