Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
My pussy is not your playground.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
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I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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