yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
