I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
