If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
