I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Randomize
