so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
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Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
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You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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