I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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