Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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