omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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