Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
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