How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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