It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Randomize
