I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
the raccoons are back...
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