He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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