I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
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