I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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