drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
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I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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