ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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