instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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