then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
